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by Louissa

lesson learned

July 28, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i lasted two whole days.  two whole days of fruits, vegetables, and today a whole wheat tortilla with lentils and brown rice.  but when i arrived back home to a small tray of cookies with the words “To Louissa, From Lisa” written on them, i felt conflicted to the very core of my being.  should i eat them?  i couldn’t let them just sit there, but i could hardly give them away to other family members.  they were my cookies!  i decided that exceptions must be made and this seemed like an opportune moment for just that.

and here is the tale of the cookie eating:

one evening i felt a wee bit special.  someone heard i was craving cookies, made some, saved a few for me, and dropped them off at my house!

the only proper way to consume a cookie is with a glass of milk for dunking and i made sure i had a big one.

all this made me happy!  white flour, refined sugar, and chocolate!

unfortunately, this doesn’t end altogether that well.  i quickly learned that feasting on too many cookies and a large glass of milk might make your tummy feel a little funny — especially when consumed in mere minutes and at 10:30pm.

i think i shall let the others finish the rest.  tomorrow i shall eat my fruits and veggies.

by Louissa

our princess baby

July 27, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i fell asleep last night remembering her smell, laugh, and wonderfully goofy grin.  i wondered where she is and who she’s with.  i wondered why-oh-why we had to let her go.  and i wondered why there must be such heartbreak in life.

you’re not supposed to have favorites but she was mine.

by Louissa

favorite faces

July 26, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »


by Louissa

2 fotos.

July 25, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i’m too tired to narrate much so just two pictures.  be happy.

1) dream come true.  you better believe that’s me on a zamboni, baby.

2)  some of the people in the world that i love.  i’m not sure there will ever be one picture that holds everyone i love.

by Louissa

saturday in my world

July 24, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

today was spent around the house.  well, okay — so i was gone from 9:00-3:30 — but it felt like i was home for a good long while!  i’m tired and hot and very glad to put pajamas on at 9:15pm and think that the day is almost over.

want to see some of what i did this afternoon & evening?

i spent a lot of time in the kitchen.  i cut up fruit for a salad the family shall eat tomorrow.

i made a berry cobbler of sorts (also for tomorrow).  it’s the kind where you take whatever fruit you might have on hand and toss it into a baking dish and then you try to estimate how much topping you’ll need for however much fruit you just threw in.  to say that the cobbler i pulled out of the oven could use some more of that topping would be an understatement.  i guess i’m one of those who has to stick to the recipe.

i spent some quality time with brushes and rollers and a gallon of paint.

this is the second saturday in a row (wow, my weekends are starting to look alike) i’ve spent a bit of time in my parents bedroom trying to help the transformation the mums has been working on for a over a month.  we’re trying to cover her khaki and brick red walls with the lightest pistachio you can imagine.

there were boring chores that required me to use cleaning products like these:

and i am that sister.  these are my brother’s clothes that i folded:

i found myself feeling rather beat and wanted to do nothing else but relax in front of an X Files episode.  guilt from not running once in an entire month hit me though and i decided i had to go out and do just that.  i’m not sure i’ve ever had such little faith in my entire life.

this is my little faith face (and yes, i look that tired because i am that tired):

a whopping one mile later i made it back home as red faced and breathing as hard as i did one month ago when i ran a 5k.  why in such rough shape?  it could have something to do with what i ate today.  if i told you what that is exactly, you’re arteries would surely clog immediately and diabetes would instantly plague your body.  i am a very unhealthy person.

go big or go home.  so i’m going big at attempting to right my dreadful lifestyle.  refined sugars and white flour only on sundays until i learn some self-control.  hold me to it, folks.  hold me to it.

Saying it since 2001 2010-07-24 16:31:00

July 24, 2010 in Blogs
By: Lore Ferguson - View Original Post »

I'm selling tons of books--if you're interested, let me know (I'll ship, if you cover postage). Here's the link to all of the books: http://tiny.cc/0j0mv

(Ignore the colored slots--these are books that have been claimed and are colored to help me keep track of who's getting them and to let you know that they're taken!)

I also have some older/rare books that I'm not sure where to sell, if any of you have any brilliant ideas, let me know!

Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Caroll (inscription reads 1901)
The Birthday Book, Rudyard Kipling 1899
One Commonplace Day, Pansy 1899

by Louissa

birthday night

July 24, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

sometimes habits just fall into place without you noticing.  for the second weekend in a row we found ourselves sitting around a table too late at night playing a game that involves dominoes, trains and well, with my rowdy group of friends — a whole lot of talking, random outbursts of song, and much laughter.  i’m not sure if two times in a row qualifies as a tradition and i can’t say what we’ll be up to next weekend, but this train game is certainly one of our favorites.

we played tonight in the midst of celebrating a birthday.  the birthday boy bought steak for all of us (completely wrong, right?), i made a cake, and we called it a party.

by Louissa

multiple choice question

July 22, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i may have a smoothie with cinnamon-and-pudding-filled bread for dinner because i:
a.)  have a sweet tooth
b.)  find it a waste of time to prepare a “real” meal for just one person
c.)  enjoy simpler foods now and then
d.)  all of the above

by Louissa

the bubsters

July 21, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

if i’ve learned anything this summer, it’s how special my friends are.

meet bubs the snubs (or snubs the bubs or snubby dubby bubby or bubsie or just plain old ben):

(sorry for the blurriness.  cell phone doesn’t always equal the best quality photos.)

basically everyone thinks the world of him.  he plays the violin like no other, can build or fix or do any handy work you might need, will act and sing and write his own rhyme in gangsta style when asked, and oh, he makes movies too.  pretty much it goes like this: anyone who meets him becomes his fan.

we friends are were his biggest fans.  and then he walked into a gathering tonight with these on his feet:

hmm.  we aren’t so sure about socks like that on hairy man feet.  yeah, about that…

by Louissa

mr. robot

July 21, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

sometimes i find things in these small towns i’m surrounded by that just amuse.  my discovery today was mr. robot:

huh.  not the usual graffiti one might find.

mr. robot wanted a picture taken with me.  don’t mind my not-so-joyous expression.  i was pondering the phrase and considering whether i might be more robotic than human.

by Louissa

i must have Thee

July 19, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

a long day was worked by many.  a quiet dinner was had of cornbread and salad.  a kitchen was cleaned.  an evening walk beside fields of corn was taken.  and i kept thinking of this written bit that spoke to this quiet soul today:

“Love of my heart, my stream runs dry;
O Fountain of the heavenly hills,
Love, blessed Love, to Thee I cry,
Fill all my secret hidden rills.
Water of Love, O pour through me;
I must have Love; I must have Thee
Amy Carmichael

by Louissa

my day

July 18, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i didn’t set my alarm correctly for my waking this morning.  you would think that after using the same exact alarm every single morning for a whole year i would have the system down.  guess not.

there is nothing that i hate more than sleeping later than i planned.  especially when i have things to do and places to be and people depending on me.

but my day was lovely.  i mean, it was lovely after the initial “OHMYGOODNESS!  WHAT TIME IS IT?!?!” that the mums received when she poked her head in my room to see why i was still in bed.

i also had a few revelations concerning my aging process.  contrary to popular opinion, i don’t think i’ll always be the Barbie character everyone thinks i am.  i chose a Bach cd when i could have listened to anything.  Barbie doesn’t listen to Bach.

anyway.  enough of this frivolous talk.  i sat at a lovely island in the middle of a lovely kitchen while a lovely lady chatted with me this afternoon.  well, i don’t think this rather quiet soul did much talking — i just wasn’t in a talking mood.  but i sat and listened and drew all over her island.  don’t get nervous.  you’re meant to draw on it.  see?

it’s a lovely afternoon activity, isn’t it?  and my day was full of such loveliness.  i just didn’t snap pictures of the rest.

by Louissa

background fun

July 17, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i’m one of those annoying people who 99.9% of the time has music playing in their car.  perhaps it’s bad.  or not.  i haven’t decided.  at least i’m not one of those people who keeps my music at such a ridiculously low volume level that you don’t know whether to scream or cry from the frustration of just being able to hear the music.

anyway.

when i don’t have my itouch or if it dies, then i almost always have this station playing:

i like music that entertains and keeps me awake moving.  yup, i’m also one of those annoying people who sings and dances while driving.  as i went through town the other day i realized what a sight i must be when i realized that several other drivers took turns staring into my vehicle as i belted out a tune and danced as much as one can while strapped into a seat at a stoplight.  i’ve always been teased about a certain face i make when dancing:

okay.  i see why everyone teased me so.  “dance face” shall never be seen again.

by Louissa

friday evening dessert

July 17, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

it’s right now at 1:40am that i’m regretting this decision i made.  i knew it would happen eventually but didn’t think it would come this soon.  whatever.  today’s photos:

i tried a new recipe.  it was mostly peaches and blueberries.  can’t go wrong with that, right?

well, it called for a cornmeal sweet biscuit of sorts to be plopped on the wonderful fruit.

i was told it tasted like soggy graham crackers.  guess we’ll put that recipe away and never make it again.

by Louissa

bike ridin’

July 15, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i went for my first motorcycle ride tonight.  while relaxing by my sister’s new pool after a strange day at work i received a text from a friend asking if i’d like a ride.  did i want a ride?! of course!  i’m not sure i’ve ever been so excited about something.  so with a helmet and one of those tough looking jackets on, my friend took me for a spin on his very fast and powerful bike.  and i loved every single minute of it.

my happy face after the ride:

dear santa, i would like my very own motorcycle for christmas.  okay fine, i’ll settle for a vespa.  my daddy would be too worried if he had a little girl out riding around on a motorcycle all the time.  sincerely, louissa

by Louissa

milk & cookies

July 14, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

best after work snack:

by Louissa

my companion

July 13, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

right now there’s nothing that i’d rather do more than curl up and fall asleep to angela lansbury’s voice in her old show, Murder, She Wrote, but it would be rather pathetic of me to quit on day 2 of a photo a day.  so here, here’s a little man who i spent my afternoon and evening with:

what better entertainment than playing with a ping pong paddle and wearing an oversized red sox cap?

by Louissa

day #1

July 12, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i’ve been an uninspired blogger of late.  the desire comes and goes — and comes more in the cool months of dark settling in at 5:00pm, warm apple pie sustaining your very existence, and afghans wrapped around you being a must.  the hot long days of summer beckon me to gallivant in the great outdoors and not spend my evenings on my computer.   but i don’t really want to be one of those bloggers who takes up cyber space but does nothing with it.  so, i’m challenging myself.

a photo a day for 30 days.

i don’t even care if it’s off my poor quality cell phone or laptop.  my busy summer schedule doesn’t have to be so busy that i can’t stop to notice at least one (or two) special happenings.

today, after spending 8 too many hours in my very warm office, i came home, cleaned a bathroom, and wanted to do nothing else.  then i remembered my most recent find at a local flea market.  nothing makes me happy like vintage.  and nothing makes me more happy when vintage item comes into my possession.  i scrubbed and dried and made my new scale look just this good:

to the dismay of many, my tastes can sometimes run along the lines of being quite tacky. when i saw this in a free pile, i instantly fell in love and had to grab it.  it awaits the decision of where to be hung in my bedroom.

and that, my friends, is the first installment of my new 30 day challenge.

Saying it since 2001 2010-07-11 14:38:00

July 11, 2010 in Blogs
By: Lore Ferguson - View Original Post »

I've been thinking about tent pegs for a few months now. Years maybe. A while for sure. Probably since I sat in a car with a friend in the spring of 2007. I cried and he challenged, unrelenting with his words: you are tied to an earth that is passing away, untie yourself or you will die with it. I am struck by the reality that we modern Christians laud stability and consistency, while the fathers of our faith were so transient that they were identified first by their name and then by their place of origin: Abraham of Ur, Jesus of Nazareth, etc.

They packed their whole house on the backs of camels and we fill our whole trunk with this week's groceries.

Jesus took it a step further: the Son of man has no place to lay his head. He didn't even carry a pillow.

The past few months I've been pushing away some things that have crowded my faith, finding that my faith lies mostly in practices and broken promises, and rarely in a God who never changes. The deeper down I've gone, the more I've realized that deep inside of me there is a pioneering heart that has indulged far too long in the stuff of this world. Part of the aim in me moving is to learn greater dependence on a God who supplies and not necessarily a bank account that can sustain.

One of the reasons I have set a cap on my time in Texas is not because I'm counting on it being a dismal failure and having to run home to Potsdam or because I'm counting on staying in Texas and I just want to make you all warm up to the idea. It's because I want to live a tent peg lifestyle. I want to live today with a pilgrimage heart, stopping when necessary, going when necessary. I want to live that way as a single person (because I can) and if someday I'm a married person, I want to continue to live that way. I want to be ready to leave at a moment's notice with no thought for what I'm leaving behind or what I've accumulated in the meantime.

I don't know if I can do it--it's hard to carry a knapsack and not much else in western society--but I want to pack light. I want to untie myself from stuff and this earth. I want to be known by my place of origin: the kingdom of God.
And how blessed all those in whom you live, whose lives become roads you travel; They wind through lonesome valleys, come upon brooks, discover cool springs and pools brimming with rain! God-traveled, these roads curve up the mountain, and at the last turn—Zion! God in full view! Psalm 84:5-7

by Louissa

william

June 28, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i looked after one child this evening.  for an hour and a half it was just the two of us and we played trains, split a chocolate chip scone, took a walk down to the water where he worked up the courage to place a finger or toe in, and laughed a lot.  that’s what he does.  the babe doesn’t have many words in his vocabulary and although sometimes you can figure out what he wants from grunts and his own version of sign language, for the most part you just laugh with him.  that’s what he does.  he laughs as he enjoys everything around him.

we laughed at flags waving in the breeze, the dog barking in town, the wonder of dipping your feet in water, the deliciousness of his mother’s amazing scones, and the funny sounds we both could make.  if you can, steal this child away and spend an hour with just him.  he’ll win your heart and make you feel more in love with the small wonders of the world as you experience them through his eyes.

Saying it since 2001 2010-06-28 17:43:00

June 28, 2010 in Blogs
By: Lore Ferguson - View Original Post »

I don't know when I got it into my head that everything about me must be certain and solid and unchangeable and forever. i don't know how this lie crept in or when. I'm hardly bothering to take account though. Somewhere along the way I demanded of myself that every word, written and spoken, ought to be fully truth, fully spiritual, and fully certain. It was as though I took the unchangeableness of a pristine and solid rock God and tried to paste it onto the cardboard cutout of me and said "It is good."

The only thing good about this is that contrary to the childish game, rock does beat paper. Rock always prevails.

I say that so that you know that what follows is not written by Lore the Invincible (someone told me this week that that's what people think of me) and so that you know that it is actually written by Lore the Lame (of Jacob and the Angel wrestling fame). I walk with a limp and these days I am okay with limps.

I am moving. Like Abraham, when he was told to leave his father's house. Like Elijah, when he hid in the cave. Like Mary and Joseph, when they birthed something holy in the middle of squalor. Like David, when he brought five stones and a slingshot. Like Jonah, when he ran away.

The point is, I don't know why exactly I'm moving or what will be born of it. What I know is that I feel a deep peace about it and I feel an expectation inside of me that It Is Good.

There are three reasons why I'm moving where I moving and if you want to know them, I'll say them to you. There are no reasons why I'm moving from where I'm moving, so even if you ask, I will not say them to you. I am happy here. I love Potsdam. I love my home on Grove Street. I love my church. I love my coworkers and my employers. I love my farmer's market. I love my friends. I love my small group. I love my mountains. But one thing I am learning is that there are more reasons to live somewhere than because it makes one happy.

There are many facets to the story of this and I wish I could give you a bullet point list of them all. Well, no, I don't wish that. I wish I could sit and have coffee and scones with each of you and say the whole story face to face. I am not so good at virtual relationships as I once was.

I will be going to Texas for an undetermined amount of time, somewhere under six months though. Already some people have issued their concern that I will never be back. Some people have said they'd be disappointed if I came back. Some people have said don't ever come back. Some people have said we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. And honestly, I feel good about writing my story as I go. I feel good about being a cardboard cutout, covered by the grace of God and little else.

This might not work for you and you will demand explanation, proof of a great career opportunity in Dallas or a purpose more certain than "because I feel certain." But the truth is, I feel certain. A few years ago a guest minister prayed these words over me, with his hand on my head:
The Lord's hand is on you for ministry. Do not buy into the secular value system, there are going to be paths ahead of you that just make sense in everyone's eyes and yet there's going to be this little thread of doubt in you, that's the spirit of God. Listen to it, even if it doesn't make sense to the rest of the world. You hear his voice. You can know.
In this, today, I feel like I know.

by Louissa

happiness is:

June 22, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

- cups of coffee every morning
- being surprised with 2 quarts of strawberries
- a black leather bound Bible that’s slowly being worn in favorite places
- campfires, campfires, and more campfires
- canoe rides at 11:30pm
- a mums that comes in my office on a regular basis (when i’m in desperate need of human interaction)
- babies back in their little yellow house for me to kiss and listen to and hold
- fresh seasons, fresh mornings, fresh beginnings — always

by Louissa

company

June 17, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

i spent most of my time today by myself and oh-so-tired.  the office was so cold that i considered turning the space heater on at one point and the sky so grey (most of the time) that i was convinced it was telling me to quit life, crawl into bed, and sleep myself into an oblivion.

obviously i couldn’t do that and i had to keep myself awake somehow so these are a few things that kept me company and brightened my rather lonely day.

1)  chatting with my dad online.  haven’t experienced that?  you probably won’t.  he reserves his chatting for employees and employees alone.  so, let me just tell you that it’s unlike chatting with anyone else.  apparently he hasn’t received the memo that nobody capitalizes, uses proper punctuation (especially a semicolon), or types a whole paragraph before pushing “send” on gchat.

2)  a perfectly scrumptious orange.  while it was chilly and overcast and windy and everything else that didn’t help me wake from my zombie-like state, i pulled out that perfectly delightful goodness and was quite happy to find that i grabbed probably the juiciest and tastiest from the fruit basket at home.  i always pretend that i’m in Little Women and oranges are a rare treat.  it makes it taste better.

3)  ingrid michaelson music.  she sings to me.  all the time.  and i’m not sure she realizes how greatly appreciated she is.  that little blue office would have been eerily quiet without her today.

4)  the random man who strolled into the office in the afternoon with a delivery.  it wasn’t actually for the church, but the golf course that we lease, so i strolled with him outside to find the right person to deal with.  he told me stories of when he had gone to school in our building and how strange it was to walk through those doors again.  i like those people the most.

5)  later in the day the sun came out.  and it was the best companion a girl could ask for.  nothing does better than good ‘ole mr. sun.

by Louissa

i should like to see the world from a new perspective.

June 10, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

velogogo.

by Louissa

getting back.

June 8, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

it’s hard to start when there’s been such a long break.  my brain somehow doesn’t know how to put words together.

so, i’ll just say that although a sweater has been worn for the last few days –  summer is here.  when the calendar turns to june everyone decides it’s time to vacation and relax and do everything out of the ordinary.  while most of my family is out of town, i’m spending my second evening down the road at my sister’s yellow ranch house.  it’s my own way of saying i can live in a vacation sort of mode even though i leave every morning for a day in the office.

i love summer.  so much.  speaking of summer, it’s meals like this that make my summertime heart happy:

Workshop

June 4, 2010 in Prayer Requests
By: Pat Noble - View Original Post »

Please pray for the workshop on websites & networking. Even when it is over pray that those who came will be equipped for the work of the kingdom. That they would accomplish much for the King. Pray God’s blessings on Pat for his service!

Saying it since 2001 2010-06-01 22:36:00

June 1, 2010 in Blogs
By: Lore Ferguson - View Original Post »

Our house is the full gamut, whatever that means. This afternoon one person after another sits on our porch, lays on our couch, sits on her bed, hunches on our front steps, tromps up our back stairs, and finally pulls into our driveway in a little red car with New Hampshire plates. The last one, and sorry if you're any of the others, is my favorite. One of the best people I know and certainly one of my most favorite people in the world. We walked around Potsdam for an hour before landing back on my front porch, him leaning up against a pillar and me rocking on the hammock.

I live for times like these.

I thought I was an introvert all these years; I function best when I'm alone. I get the most done when there's one or none around me. I am a powerhouse of duty with no audience to be had. But I'll tell you this: enter someone I love and my heart is a happy place.

Thing number two that I'm learning is that everything is going to be okay, but sometimes okay is a tiny bit better with other people around. I might still be an introvert and maybe someday I'll be a bastion of output--a veritable factory of invention when I'm all by myself. But today and in this season, I am grateful for the true blues in my life. There are many and maybe there are few, but there are some. Some who when we sit across from each other in the dark on my front porch and talk about values and finances and self-employment and church and God and thrift store jeans and Polynesian stir-fry, my heart is glad.

Saying it since 2001 2010-05-31 16:37:00

May 31, 2010 in Blogs
By: Lore Ferguson - View Original Post »

I just got home from an amazing ten days in Texas to a found sweet vintage road bike, a dinner of whole grain rice, our favorite lentil dish, and carrot sticks, and my favorite roommates. And a card from my Ma which had arrived sometime during my time away. The front made me cry and what dropped out when I opened it made me cry more. The name of this blog "Perhaps we are here..." is from a Rilke poem and he's one of my favorite poets. The front of the card contained these words by the very same poet:
"I beg you...to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answers."
I feel as though this is my life recently. Perhaps I ought to be more like my peers who are settling into home ownership and child training and career tracking, but I am not. And if there is one thing this season is teaching me more than anything else, it is that my future may not ever look like anyone else's future, but that's okay. Also, my present might not look like anyone's present, but that's okay. Also, my calling and values might be different than others' calling and values, but that's okay. Also, my sanctification process will be different, but that's okay. Also, I may not have the answers today, but that's okay. Also, everything is going to be okay.

So, dear readers (those five or six of you who are left after URL changing and a severe lack of anything worth reading), here's one thing I need you to know: things are not okay, but they are going to be okay. My heart, my soul, my mind, my dreams, my awareness sin, my prayers, my faith, my lacks, my vision, my hope--these things are not okay, they are precarious and feeble and teetering and maybe, deeply in, there are good things happening, but not today. Not now. But there will be. There will be okay again.

How do I know this? I don't know. I think for maybe the first time in my life I have no guarantee of okay in this lifetime. But what's different now is that I'm okay with that.

World’s Best Food(s)

May 28, 2010 in Life
By: Pat Wilbur - View Original Post »

I am in search of the world’s most delicious food or meal. Unfortunately, after much searching, I came to the realization that every culture’s and every person’s tastes are so vastly different, that even locally-popular foods are hardly noticeable on a global scale–it is even difficult to form a list of the most popular foods! I guess this adds to the value of and great feeling associated with cooking for others and sharing with them one’s own food experiences.

So, here I ask you, what are some of the best foods/dishes that you have had that you recommend trying at least once in life, and is there a noteworthy setting that added to the experience?

by Louissa

they say a picture

May 24, 2010 in Blogs
By: Louissa - View Original Post »

is worth a thousand words.